An exercise to help you make decisions you won’t regret
5 min read
When it comes to making important decisions, there’s very rarely one right answer. You might feel confident in a direction one day and swing in the opposite direction the next. Everyone you ask will likely advise you differently based on their own opinions and experiences and eventually you might end up choosing something you regret.
Decision making is tough because there are usually tons of things to consider, but among all of them, and especially when it comes to avoiding regret, how we want to feel as a result of that decision is one of the most important considerations.
Have you noticed when talking to someone about a decision you’ve made, if the overarching theme is that you’re happy, no one questions you? As a society, we value happiness as a desired feeling. Regret and happiness are like oil and water. It’s nearly impossible to regret a decision if the end result was happiness.
The key is to chase your desired feelings. Above all else. And it starts with getting clear. How do you want to feel? The more specific you get, the better.
After watching all the clips of Beyonce killing it at Coachella, I can say with confidence that one of my prioritized feelings is “Yonce”.
Here’s an exercise to help you identify the feelings that matter to you most:
1. Grab your journal, a pen and paper or your computer. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Free-write about all the ways you want to feel in your life. Don’t overthink it - just write. The purpose of free-writing is to help us get out of our heads, so that we can write with authenticity. Resist the urge to check how much time is left and continue writing until the timer goes off.
2. Any time you get stuck, write “I really want to feel….” or “I want to feel this way because….”. That will help you continue to write for the full 5 minutes. For example:
I really want to feel abundant in every area of my life. I want to feel this way because I know it will ease a lot of the fears and worries that I feel now.
I really want to feel at peace.
I really want to feel radiant, alive and full of energy. I want to feel this way because I know that means I’ve been taking care of myself and have been making the right choices for my health.
I really want to feel confident in my abilities.
3. When the time is up, go back and circle the top three feelings that you desire. Use these three feelings that you've identified as being most important to you as a guide for your decisions.
This exercise is powerful because it helps you form a lens through which you can evaluate any opportunities that come up in your life or business. Whenever it's time to take the next step, this exercise will help you choose the right direction - away from regret and towards alignment with how you really want to feel.